Think about it… why would you want to doubt yourself? It makes no sense. What good could possibly come from doubt?
We’ve had these discussions…
“Who’s your best self?”
“How do you want to be?”
“Write your goals down!”
…and these are all super important things to focus on. But if we’re focusing on them, working on them becoming our reality, and we’ve got doubt in our minds…how would we ever accomplish the “who” and “what?!”
Doubt is nothing more than a road block that will allow you to stumble and fall, and can even throw you completely off track. So…why do we doubt ourselves?
In order to get rid of doubt, we first have to realize we are doing it.
Let’s put our thinking caps on… Do you recall doubting yourself when you start walking out of your bedroom in the morning, arriving at the gym, or even when you are holding a fork to your face thinking that the food might not make it?
Really simple things that aren’t technically something to fret about, right?
But doubting ourselves about the little things inhibits our mind to doubt when we do the bigger things. You are actually training yourself to self-doubt! And based upon what? Usually because “we haven’t done it before” or someone else has told us “it won’t work.”
Okay, well…do you want to believe that doubt or do you want to vanish that doubt? So that’s what I’m talking about today.
VANISH THE DOUBT.
Poof! Gone! That’s enough of it.
Embrace the challenge, embrace what’s going to happen, embrace life!
You can handle any little and big situation and the first step is believing in yourself. I understand it takes time and several steps are involved. But that’s what I want to encourage you to start doing today… VANISH the doubt! We don’t have time for this stuff.
What is stress? Think about it..
Let’s discuss this. I remember being in a health education class when I was thirteen years old. We talked about EU-stress and Distress. I’m never going to forget when our teacher described your “normal stress.” An example of normal stress would be stuff that we automatically do without a thought. Examples: waking up in the morning, having a job, driving a car, etc. Basically living everyday life.
Then I remember the negative stuff. I believe it was the “distress.” Things that you choose to bring upon yourself. Ask yourself, how do I react to the world? How do I perceive things? Why would I want to make things harder?
Under that category would fall things like working towards a job promotion, your relationships, perceptions.
I still remember when I was fifteen years old, twenty years ago, thinking why would I ever choose to make things harder for myself? And I understand things really aren’t always easy. Sometimes we have to make decisions we don’t like, or really bad things happen and in the moment you don’t know what choices to make… so you second guess everything which leads to overthinking which inflicts more stress.
But if you still have the choice, or even in those points of adversity when bad things happen… why would you not choose to make things easier or why not try to make things better?
Think about it.
When has overthinking a situation ever made the decision-making easier or the situation less bad? No one ever said it’s easy but why would you not at least TRY to make things better.
Because again, there’s normal stress – getting up going about your every day, and then there’s negative stress. So many of our clients, friends, family members, people all over the world are making things HARDER for themselves. WHY?!
Why would you consciously choose to go about the hardest way? If you can get from point A to point B in a straight line, take the easy route! Give yourself a little break. I mean, why would you say “No, not today! Life is all about the journey and I am going to go through the most crooked and zig zagged path so that I can learn along the way!” Okay, yes. Sure. I understand the school of that – that’s exciting and can bring more insight. But really, if you had the choice to go the long way or take the short cut and get the same end result, would you really make the task harder for yourself?
A situation or task can only stress you if you allow it to. And today I want to encourage you to take the short cut, relieve some stress, and follow your gut instinct. Whether the “journey” is short or long, there is always a learning curve.
What do you consider to be a bad behavior? Think about it..
Would you consider drinking 7 nights a week to an excess a bad behavior?
Would you consider overeating 7 days a week a bad behavior?
Would you consider exercising 7 days a week a bad behavior?
Think about it..
A lot of times we’re always worried or concerned that people may be exercising too much. Ok, I understand. There are different levels of it, right?! And I understand the argument if someone exercises too much, they may be doing themselves harm, or harming their bodies, etc. I get that.
However, the beauty of exercising is that that can be a better “addiction” or a better habit to form. So, say you go for a run on Sundays, Mondays you do your heavy lifting, Tuesdays you do a circuit or class, Wednesdays are for your second run of the week, Thursdays you lift again, maybe you take Fridays off and then wrap up the week with a Tabata training on Saturday or go golfing. Those are all forms of exercise, right?!
But what we start noticing with all sorts of our clients is that someone will talk about eating/drinking (and drinking can be alcohol or soda, or whatever that “bad” habit might be), and in doing so, they talk about “wanting to enjoy my life.” Tell me how many people you know who are overeaters or binge drinkers who are also consistently successful throughout their entire lives. Who? Exactly.. you don’t have an answer because you honestly have no idea.
When has it ever been good to eat in excessive, or binge drink, do drugs, chew or smoke tobacco.. when has that EVER been a good idea?
But exercise, however, that is a GREAT habit to create. It allows you to clear your mind, focus your thoughts, build up your stamina, create more energy that lasts throughout the day, build strong and flexible muscles to then, be able to go out and do the things you want to do without pain, or regret, or lack of energy.
How much time do you spend learning? Think about it..
How much time do you spend learning about your family? How much time do you spend learning about your best friend? How much time do you spend learning about your partner, husband, wife, etc.? How much time do you spend learning about your neighbor? How much time do you spend learning about your job?
I consider that all to be education. Do you spend a lot of time learning or do you just accept things as they are, blindly moving forward day-to-day ultimately just keeping that “surface” relationship with people.
I look at my daughter, Harper and hink about this.. how much time did you spend learning how to write? How much time did you spend learning how to say something? How much time did you spend learning how to walk?
Guaranteed you didn’t do it over night. You spent a LOT of time!
It’s all education. It’s all educating yourself and making yourself BETTER. Whether it’s time with your friends, your family, whether it’s being better at your job, being happier, or whatever it is, how much time do you devote to absolutely making yourself educated? To learn more, grow and move forward? To become a better version of yourself?
That’s such a valuable thing; we shouldn’t lose that the older we get. We shouldn’t get comfortable. And we shouldn’t lose that as soon as we achieve a goal we set out to achieve.
That’s when we make things worse, when we learn, or teach ourselves or create habits to accept things just as they are. You don’t want to learn more or you don’t want to create more; that’s not educating yourself and challenging yourself to grow.
We must perpetually educate ourselves more. Learn more. Go to a seminar. Go somewhere you’ve never been. It’s still educating yourself. It’s challenging yourself in a different setting where you will learn something new or try something for the first time. Make new friends. Try a new exercise program or check out your local gym you’ve been wanting to visit.
Think about it. Education never ends. If it does it, you become frail, sad, boring, stale.. and you wonder why you’re never happy or excited in your life.
How important is your family? Think about it..
For as long as you can remember, you had a parent, or grandparent, sister, brother, someone.. who has been with you. How important is your family?
Everything they say and do, it’s such a big deal, isn’t it?! So let me ask you this.. what do you do to replenish it? Do you spend time with your family, reach out to them? Do you thank them and tell them you love them? Even when maybe the relationship is rocky, do you still take it upon yourself to reach out and tell them you love them? Do you thank your parents even for bringing you into this world? Do you thank your friends and let them know you appreciate them?
Or do you maybe take those relationships for granted? Do you realize your family is always going to be there for you or maybe connect you to what you’re going to do or encourage you to move towards your goals? Your family is going to be the ones who make you better? Do you take the time to thank them? Do you stop to say, “Guess what family.. it is you who matters the most!” Do we spend enough time with them?
Think about it.. what is the one thing that will always be there for you? Who are the ones who know you the most and will always have your back? Why not consistently try to work on those relationship (even when they’re broken) and show your appreciation and gratitude all the time?
Last week we talked about being happy. But have you ever thought about the price of being unhappy? Think about it..
When you’re unhappy, how do you feel?
When you’re sad, how do you feel?
Or when you’re mad, how do you feel?
How does that dictate your day? And why would you want to feel even worse?
What if someone were to tell you the price of being happy was a million dollars.. it could be a MILLION dollars. Right!? But the price of being unhappy was worth one dollar. Ok, so every time you’re unhappy, you had to pay 100 million dollars, and every time you’re happy you were paid a million dollars.. or some crazy, abstract comparison like that. In my opinion it would really have to be that huge of a difference.
When you’re happy, as we discussed last week, you’re more productive, more focused, your energy is up, and you’re more of a joy to be around.
However, when you’re unhappy, you’re not creative, you’re not productive, your whole day is lost, and no one really wants to be around you. That’s just being honest.
What is the price for you to be unhappy?
Why would you make yourself feel worse? Why would you make yourself feel bad? Why?
We’ve had this discussion a few times and I know we’ve talked about this in different blogs, what would you do, or why would you try to make things worse for yourself?
Or better yet, why would you not try to make yourself as happy as possible?
But we keep making ourselves unhappy. I, personally feel bad when I’m unhappy. Do you feel bad when you’re unhappy? Then why do you want to keep replicating it?
Just like we talked about last week. How much better do you feel when you’re happy? So why do we keep making ourselves unhappy?
We go into a partnership with someone you don’t like..
You go to a job you don’t like..
You live in an apartment or an area you don’t like..
You spend time doing things you don’t like..
There has to be a reason you keep putting yourself in that position and I want to challenge you to really think about what that reason is. And then take it one step farther, and come up with a plan, or an idea to get out of that situation.
Life is better when you’re happy people. #thinkaboutit
Have you ever thought about how things would be or how much better things would be if you were happy? Think about it..
When you have a great moment, when you have a good experience.. how good do you feel? You feel so great! You feel so amazing! Right?! But then you end up losing that feeling but I want you to not focus on why it doesn’t stay with you but just keep thinking about how you want that feeling to stay.
What does it take to keep and maintain your happiness?
Whatever that is, it seems that a lot of time we’re always looking and questioning and trying to figure out one thing after the next.. a little bit of this or a little bit of that. But are you really happy doing it?
What is the price to be happy? Well, let me ask you this.. how much better are you when you’re happy? Do you feel better Do you think clearer? Do you find yourself wanting to be around people all the time?
Try to be happy! Sometimes you have to fake it at first. I’m just being realistic. But as the old saying goes, fake it until you make it. Once you continue to tell yourself you’re genuinely happy, you’re start believing it and, then, you’ll genuinely feel happy.
And there are things that are complicated with it.. where you are in life, you may not be making as much money as you would like, you may not to be as fit as you would like to be.. but there has to be something that makes you happy. And then find the next thing and then the next. Because life is so much better happier! Isn’t it?!
How do you manage your days? Think about it..
What does your schedule look like? Do you have your goals written down like we talked about in a previous post? Do you have your goals written down for the year? What about this month.. or even this week?
I think it all comes down to what your time management is like. It’s something I know being a business owner, being a husband, being a dad.. it’s one of the hardest things to do. But how do you schedule out your time? What do you write down? What do you write out each and every day? Do you have a schedule of stuff? Because if you don’t schedule things in, do you ever really get it done? Think about it..
I know for me, if I don’t have it written down, I almost never get it done. I’m always scrambling and trying to figure things out, then I get stressed because I don’t feel like I got anything done today. And that’s on me. I didn’t write anything down, I didn’t have any notes. I didn’t make it a priority to figure out what my top 3 things are that I need to get done today.
Think about that..
Are you writing things down.. we’ve talked about this before but it really is that important. Do you have your schedule and your goals written down? Do you think about where you see yourself? Do you know where and what you want to be?
If you do.. great! All it is is writing your priorities down which creates a plan and leads to action. All the while, realizing you only have a certain amount of time and being realistic with your expectations.
Do you have a mentor? Do you have somebody who you see and/or talk to on a regular basis who gives you feedback on how you’re doing, what you’re doing, and is honest with you about whether you should or should not be doing that..?
I’ve got 3 really great mentors in my life. I am so thankful to have them! I’m so thankful they’re in my life.
I have my wife, God bless her. She hears and knows everything I’ve got going on in my life.
And the other 2 guys I look to, turn to, and, basically, tell everything to. I love how when I call or text them, within 24-48 hours, I have them reaching out to help me. I never thought about how hard something can or could be until you have that person in your life to tell you it’s good, it’s bad, keep going, this is not the right direction.. whatever that might be.
I’m so thankful for my mentors. I’m so thankful that I’m also willing to push myself to go talk to people and ask these questions and have these hard discussions, sometimes, about money, life, my passion, about where my business is going.. etc.
I don’t know how anyone could do it without help.
So, for this week, think about who your mentor is.
Do you have one?
Do you need one?
Do you not need one? (God bless you.. I honestly don’t know how you make it without mentors.)
But I just want to make this post more about my thanks and praise for my mentors and how much they have helped me to do what I’m trying to do within my business. And I’m especially grateful to find those mentors who have been where I am and have been where I want to go. Whether it’s someone who has a small business, or whether they’re in the fitness business (which both of mine are), and I’m also extremely grateful for my wife.
So, find those mentors, have those people, seek them out, thank them, thank those people and say, “Hey, without you I wouldn’t be where I am. So thank you!”
#thinkaboutit Where would you be without your mentors?
When is enough, enough? Think about it.
Is it ever enough to be super skinny?
Is it ever enough to be super strong?
Is it ever enough to have a ton of money?
Is it ever enough not to have money?
Is it ever enough to have.. what? Whatever that might be… do you ever think, “I need more of “this”?
But is it ever really enough? And what is enough?
We talked a while back about knowing your WHY, finding these reasons and trying to figure these things out, but what does all this mean? What is enough?
Honestly, I don’t know. You have to figure it out for yourself. I suggest you write these things down, put these things down on paper, and you WILL figure out more and more what is enough. But you’re also going to figure out..
..is it selfish?
..is it gluttonous?
..is it narcissistic?
Because it might be.
And when you do figure out what you think is enough, I want to encourage you to share it with people. Share it with us. Share it with your family and friends.. and they will be able to help to point you in the right direction, help you figure it out and give you some clarity.